Currently my mother in law is in Singapore. I bought a ticket for her a few months ago because I saw my friend write a loving facebook post to her husband and I suddenly had an overwhelming bout of gratitude and guilt about my own husband giving up so much to be with me. He misses his family and friends over in the states and yet here he remains, halfway across the globe, steadfast, more and more locked in to this foreign country as we get our car, our house, and now, our soon-to-be-born baby. And what did I ever do to deserve this much love and sacrifice?
And so at 2am in the morning I was hit with an inspiration to fly my mother in law Ann over, for it is her first time flying so far away from the states and not only will Mike enjoy this immensely, I thought she will too!! I shook Mike awake and asked him for his mom's middle name and birthday - he simply mumbled the answer without asking why, and a few clicks on expedia.com - tickets bought, surprise done!!
It was a feat for everyone to keep this secret from Mike and I must say it all paid off when he looked so completely shocked and happy to see Ann at the airport. I told him we were fetching Cheesie. :D
So for the next few days I'll be playing host to Ann and bringing her around Singapore.
Reading some of the dumb comments infuriates me and I'm trying my darnest to keep my preggie moods pleasant so I didn't even bother to moderate the newer ones.
Whatever... People are so determined to hate on me and accuse me of APPROVING RAPE (like are you SERIOUS?) that no matter what I say, they will still think the same way. I can't be arsed anymore, there are nicer things in life to focus on like seeing my husband beam with pure happiness.
Read two articles on tumblr from sane people supporting what I wrote and I shall repost them here. Perhaps they are more articulate and better at explaining me than me:
From Segnoritaseverywhere:
I agree that her tweet sounded very wrong, and it could be misunderstood by some, hell, it could be easily misunderstood by everyone. I, in fact, misunderstood it.
But she explained her point of view. I�ve read it ALL, even the links that she included, and I totally get her point of view.
She tweeted that from the point of view of a MOTHER. Of course she didn�t say it was MORALLY better to be a rapist than being a slut. Of course not.
She was saying that it was better as a MOTHER to have a rapist son, than a girl that would be taken advantage of easily by adults. Both are horrible, but what she meant is that having a rapist son would be less painful as a mother. To know that nobody did horrible things to his son, rather than finding out your 11 year old daughter has been deceived by older men to suck their cock and sleep with them.
I suggest you go to her blog and read the post. And if you don�t get her point, I will assume you are stupid, since you would have no reading comprehension.
I�m not saying that you have to agree with her, maybe you prefer having a �slut daughter�(as in 11 year old girl who is being taken advantage of by men); but, heck, it�s not that hard to get her point.
From Aurtora:
About Xiaxue.. I think you guys misunderstood big time. You read this: �Rapist son better than slut daughter I guess.� and you think this: Xiaxue thinks that sluts are worse than rapists. NO.
Think about it from a mother�s perspective.
I think all girls (should) know there are men who just wants to have sex with you. That�s why we are told not to hop in a random man�s car, not to believe everything they say, to have self respect because we are not just to have sex with! Mothers, of course, tell this stuff to their daughters so they won�t end up some fifty-year-old man�s sex toys. A 11 years old girl can easily fall in love with a man if she�s not told to be careful. To get thegirlchild in his bed all the man has gotta do is to tell her she�s beautiful and that he�ll love her forever. The girl will believe him cause she�s STILL A KID and she just DON�T KNOW! �That�s why the law says having sex with girls below 18 is RAPE!� Sexual freedom in my ass seriously�
�At age 11 a girl is not old enough to decide who she should have sex with, know the psychological or physical consequences to having sex nor does she have the ability to take care of a child lest she get pregnant or even have the money for an abortion!� Exactly! The poor girl probably don�t even have her period yet. She should be playing with legos not sucking someone�s dick.
Now if you are a mother and you find out your daughter slept/sleeps with a 40-year-old man, how would you feel? Probably miserable. And you�d probably feel that you FAILED AS A MOTHER because you didn�t teach your child not to trust random men. Now same goes if your son is a rapist: �I will feel guilty that I raised a monster, disappointed that he turned out this way..� She�s saying that wouldn�t be good either.
BUT
From a parent�s perspective it is worse if your child is taken advantage of: �Every single parent in the world will tell you the same answer: Given a situation where our child is taking advantage of others or being taken advantage of, we all painfully choose for our children to be the one taking advantage of others!�
Because a mother always loves her child no matter what.
A mother always wishes for her child�s best.
�Would you rather your kid be a murderer or be murdered?! Rapist or be raped? Bully or be bullied? Torturer or tortured? Tycoon or child labourer?�
Get it now? How can a mother rather not want her grown son to be a rapist than her little girl being raped? And you are calling Wendy disgusting when you probably didn�t even understand what she was talking about!!?? Unbelievable! You feel sorry for his unborn son?? He�s lucky to have a brave and honest mother who is not afraid of others opinion!!
Wendy you go girl ?
all the citations are from Xiaxue�s blog.
Few things more to clarify:
1) Have you played the "Would you rather?" game? Very simple right, you just are made to choose between two horrible choices.
This is the same - Saying "I would rather get Aids than Cancer" is not saying getting cancer is something I will celebrate with champagne.
It means BOTH cancer and aids are really horrible but I find Aids a shade better.
Oh please don't go on and on about how I am insulting the plight of cancer patients now and how they are suffering and I'm insensitive. That was just an example, ok??
So when I say I'd rather have a rapist son than a slut daughter, it means BOTH ARE VERY BAD, I just find one slightly less painful AS A MOTHER.
NOT MORE MORALLY CORRECT MIND YOU. READ THIS TWICE. I DO NOT FIND MY SON RAPING PEOPLE OK.
2) I used the term "slut" loosely. I know that feminists tend to be very touchy feely about that word but I simply meant it in the dictionary sense:
a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
IE all females who sleep around easily.
Is it right to call an 11 year old girl who sleeps around a slut? Perhaps not since she is a child who doesn't know what she is doing.
There could be a lot of reasons why very young girls would choose to have sex with many men, and easily so. It could be that they are naive and manipulated, or it could be so they can impress their friends or rebel against their parents. It could also be that they genuinely enjoy sex.
Whatever it is, perhaps it is cruel for an adult to label a young teen as a "slut", but what other euphemism would you call her? I guarantee you "slut" is exactly what all her peers will call her behind her back. Cmon, enough with the political correctness.
Perhaps you guys are offended because the word "slut" has derogatory connotations to it. I'm sorry but I cannot help what society pegs to a word which simply means someone who is promiscuous.
Just because of that (derogatory connotations) I have been accused of saying that a young girl who chooses to have sex readily with old men is entirely at fault - when the feminists think that it is the men who are wrong.
WAIT A MINUTE... Are you serious? You honestly believe that I do not think these leery lecherous dirty old men who prey on young girls are at fault here?! I can't even... No, they should know better and they deserve the worst punishments.
Whether a young girl has blame to share when statutory rape happens no matter how small, well, that's another topic altogether and I am not venturing there. (Do not take this to mean I say they are to blame, I never said so, don't put words into my mouth)
I'm not here to discuss who is at fault or whether an 11 year old girl should be able to have sex with whoever she wants because it is "sexual freedom".
I do not care if you think being a "slut" is ok, new-age liberal females. Not disagree; don't care. Not my problem what you think - you can spread your legs as open as you want, I do not care as long as you don't spread them around my husband (or son I guess).
I am simply telling you guys about whether or not my daughter is at fault for being a "slut", whether it is my poor parenting, her poor decision-making, or the horrible men who take advantage of her readiness, I AM JUST SIMPLY SAYING IT IS HEARTBREAKING AS A PARENT.
And that that sort of pain is worse, personally speaking, than seeing my son rape someone and go to jail for it.
You may disagree and that is fine.
But this isn't a moral discussion.
This is just me saying which causes me more grief. As a parent.
Can you control what makes you more upset? You can't.
Which would cause you more grief?
Your mother dying or 1,000 innocent babies dying from a war torn country somewhere far away?
If you choose your mom, are you a murderous asshole approving infanticide? If you choose the babies, are you completely unfilial?
Your grief, your choice.
I won't judge it, so don't judge mine.
(Said I can't be arsed to blog and blogged a whole long post. Good job me.)
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